178+ Train Puns to Keep You on Track!

Welcome aboard the pun express, where laughter is always on track! Trains and puns make the perfect pair, so get ready for a journey that’s rail-y amusing.

These train puns will choo-choo-choose their way into your heart, offering humor that’s full steam ahead. Let’s keep things on track with giggles aplenty.

Laugh Tracks: Classic Train Puns

• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down, just like a train on tracks!
• The freight train and I have something in common—we both carry a little baggage.
• When does a train carry bubblegum? When it’s on a tootie trolley!
• Why did the train get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
• I tried to catch up with the train, but I can’t handle the locomotion!
• What did the train say to the other train? “You’re on the right track!”
• Tracks without trains are like jokes without punchlines—they’re just lines.
• Spotted the missing train? It’s back on track now!
• Why are train puns so great? They have excellent boarding lines!
• What’s a train’s favorite candy? Locommint!
• What did the train conductor say to the comedian? “Stop derailing my show!”
• The express train is so fast because it never loses its track of time!
• Trains never make friends with planes; it’s too much of a flight risk.
• Sleeping on a train is cabin fever at its finest!
• I’m not the best engineer, but I’ll give it a go on train tracks!
• If you leave a train running while you shop, it’s a railway robbery!
• Trains may gossip, but their secrets are always on the rails.
• Why don’t trains do well in marathons? They’re always in track races!
• At fancy parties, trains remain on the loco-combustion list.
• Learning about steam engines gave me a thundering passion!
• If your friend loves trains, you can always count on an express friendship!
• Did the train lose its job? It couldn’t handle the pressure!
• What makes steam trains so cool? They have optimum puffs!
• For trains, staying on-track is not optional; it’s a locomotivational speaking session!
• What do trains do on their days off? They chug around leisurely!
• Why was the party a hit? Because everyone arrived on time, choo-choo-pronto!
• What kind of sneakers do trains wear? Track shoes!
• Why don’t trains tell secrets? They can’t handle derailments!
• How do trains apologize? By whistle-blowing gently!
• When trains dream, they become fast track stars!
• Ever met a train chef? They’re always cooking on high steam!
• Trains can’t keep secrets—everything is on a public whistle!
• The little boy loved trains, so his birthday was a choo-tastic success!

Carriage of Chuckles: Family-Friendly Train Puns

• Why did the train break up with the station? It felt too much pressure on the tracks!
• What do you call a train that likes to read? A book caboose!
• Did you hear about the train’s music band? They always stay in tune!
• How does a train eat? It choo-choos its food!
• What train has the best manners? The polite-express!
• Why did the train go to school? It wanted to improve its tracks!
• What do you call a locomotive that never stops singing? A troubadour-rail!
• How do trains stay fit? With lots of track-and-field workouts!
• Why was the train’s schedule always on time? It had a good conductor!
• Where do trains go on vacation? The rail shores!
• Why don’t trains tell secrets? Because they have way too many sleepers!
• What do you call a happy train? A loco-motivation!
• Why did the train get a ticket? Because it was off-track!
• What’s a train’s favorite game? Track-and-field!
• Why was the train artist so famous? It always had a great line!
• What’s a train’s favorite type of meal? A choo-sine!
• Why do trains make great friends? They always know where they stand!
• Why do math teachers love trains? They have tons of problems to solve!
• How do locomotives hear? Through their engineers!
• Why was the train superstar always so calm? It had great track record!
• What do you call a train with a cold? A chew-chew train!
• Why do trains hate being late? Because it’s always their last de-rail!
• How do you repair a broken train? With lots of track-tics!
• Why was the train so confident? It believed in its tracks!
• What did the train say during a breakup? It’s time to part tracks!
• Which magic spell do trains love? Abracada-rail!
• Why did the train blush? Because it saw the signal red!
• What sport do trains love playing? Track-and-field, of course!
• Why was the train so polite? It always had excellent station-arie!
• What makes a train a great musician? The ability to stay on track!
• Where do funny train stories end up? In loco-fables!
• Why do train engineers make bad villains? They always have a track-able plan!
• What do you call an undercover train? A rail-spy!
• How do trains socialize? They form loco-communities!
• Why do trains excel at gardening? They have great loco-motion!
• Where do trains keep their pens? In their stationery boxcar!
• What did the train say to the car? Don’t worry, I have it on track!
• Why was the train in therapy? To express its feelings!
• Why are trains great at storytelling? They stay on track with their tales!
• Why don’t trains use smartphones? They prefer rail communication!
• What did one train say to another at a bad joke? You just de-railed me!

All Aboard the Humor Express: Top Train Puns for Kids

• Why do trains always listen to music? Because they love the rail-way vibes.
• What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train!
• How do locomotives hear? With their engine-eers!
• Why can’t trains keep secrets? Because they’re always letting off steam.
• How do trains eat? They chew-chew!
• Where do trains go when they’re sick? To the loco-motive clinic!
• Why was the train so good at its job? It had excellent track-records.
• How do we know the train is telling stories? It starts with ‘once upon a train’.
• What’s a steam engine’s favorite type of snacks? Chugged cheese sandwiches!
• Why are trains never angry? They’re always on the right track.
• How did the train become so famous? It had over a million followers on rail-Instagram.
• What does a train tell its sweetheart on Valentine’s Day? I choo-choo choose you!
• Why do trains make great friends? They don’t go off the rails.
• What’s a train’s favorite tree? Trains love to travel around the track-sapine trees.
• Why was the train always cheerful? It was just loco-motivated.
• What did the train say at the party? I’m loco to be here!
• Why did the train get an award? It had the best platform ever!
• How does a train apologize? It says, “I’m sorry for the loco-motion.”
• What did the caboose say to the engine? I’m falling for you!
• Why did the train bring a suit to work? It had a business track to run.
• Why was the locomotive bad at drawing? It kept losing its train of thought!
• What language do trains speak? Locomotongue!
• Why did the train conductor always win arguments? She had all the tracks backed up!
• What music do trains love best? They have a track-list full of tunes!
• How do trains end their letters? With love, from your loco pal!
• What’s a train’s favorite game? Track (tic) tac toe!
• Why did the train break up with the airplane? It couldn’t handle the long distance.
• What kind of candy do trains like? Chug-a-lots!
• What did one rail say to the other at the end of the day? Track you later!
• Why did the train apply for a job? It heard there were plenty of tracks for securing work.

One-Liner Train Puns: Quick Quips on the Go

• Why did the train get sent to its room? It had too many loco-motions!
• I enjoy long walks by the train tracks; it really trains my mind.
• Did you hear about the train that went to medical school? It graduated with loco-motive!
• The locomotive felt lonely, so it adopted a caboos-tie.
• The conductor is going on a diet; he wants to keep things on track!
• Trains are great at keeping secrets; they never spill the beans.
• When the train coughs, does it lose its caboose?
• Engines never get lost; they always follow their tracks.
• I asked the train for relationship advice; it said to stay on track!
• Why did the train bring a ladder? It wanted to reach new heights!
• Trains never argue because they know how to keep their peace on track.
• I tried to start a business selling old train tickets, but it didn’t get on the rails.
• If a train beats you in a race, just admit defeat and choo-choo on!
• How do trains avoid colds? They chug along with extra steam!
• The train brought a map to the comedy show; it wanted to find its laughing lines.
• Why was the conductor always calm? He kept his rails short and sweet.
• Trains make great friends—they don’t mind picking you up when you’re down.
• I gave my friend a train set, and now he’s in the express lane to happiness.
• The train joined a band—it had the perfect rhythm for the tracks.
• Why did the train take a nap? It wanted to rest its cars.
• Engines are great at cleaning—they always keep their tracks spick and span.
• The first rule of Train Club: always stay on line!
• Riding a train is like going to a comedy club; the jokes just keep rolling!
• Why don’t trains make good stand-up comedians? They have too much baggage!
• If you ask a train why it’s late, it’ll say it was just loco-motivated to be on time.
• How do train engineers celebrate birthdays? With a caboose-load of cake!
• The train conductor loves DIY projects; he always finds the track to success.
• What do you call a train that sings? A loco-star!

Railways of Wit: Clever Train Puns for Adults

• Why did the train get sent to the principal’s office? It had too many loco motives.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity on the train—it’s impossible to put down!
• What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train!
• Why was the music teacher stuck on the train? He was trying to reach high notes on the rail.
• The cat walked across the train—guess it was a purr-express.
• Did you hear about the train conductor who got on the wrong track? He’s really derailed now.
• Railworkers prefer their tea nice and brisked.
• Some trains do yoga just to stay on track.
• If Apple made trains, they’d have incredible tracks but terrible Wi-Fi.
• The new train chefs are great; they’re renowned for their loco-motives.
• Engineers never gossip, they stay on track!
• The train kept stopping, it couldn’t handle station-ary objects.
• The train had a tough day; it was feeling very track-tired.
• Why did the train bring a book to the party? For a little light reading on the caboose ride home.
• Stuck on a slow train? There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.
• Why do trains make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always off-track.
• “After years of traveling, trains just find life a bit un-railing.”
• Why was the train so confident at its new job? It kept everything on track.
• He didn’t want to go off the rails, so he stuck to his training.
• Getting on a train is like reading a good book, every station is a chapter.
• After the fireworks, the train conductor said, “That’s a rail of a show!”
• Train conductors always know when to brake the ice.
• He snored so loud, he woke up the whole train. It was really track-tastic.
• Why did they make the train red? For loco-motive reasons!
• The train couldn’t sleep—it kept losing its train of thought.
• Sitting on a train with no AC? Now that’s steaming the windows.
• What did one train say to the other? I’m just track-ing your progress.
• Why did the train conductor stop at the coffee shop? To get railed up for the day.
• He got a train for his birthday; guess they really engineered this gift.
• Boarding trains is quite a catch, you might say it’s loco-motion in action.
• It seems the train took a wrong turn—it’s off on a real track-or-treat!
• LOVE is like a train; it takes two to make it go the distance.
• He jumps from train car to train car, he’s truly going the extra mile.
• Whenever trains get sick, they track their symptoms on a schedule.
• They called the train’s playlist tracks—with good reason.
• Heartbreak leaves us unscheduled like a delayed train.
• She joined a rock band and started with a track on the strings.
• Remember, taking the wrong train just means it’s time to detour and enjoy the ride!

Ironical Railroads: Punny Train Humor for Engineers

• Why do trains love engineers? Because they always stay on track.
• Engineering on a train is all about “loco” motion.
• What do engineers and trains have in common? They both love to blow off steam.
• Some engineers are one track-minded, but that’s all right on a train!
• Why was the engineer so calm? They knew how to keep it rail-axed.
• An engineer’s favorite music? Heavy metal tracks.
• Don’t trust everything an engineer tells you; it might be all smoke and mirrors.
• The engineer said his job was riveting… maybe he was on the wrong train!
• Engineers love their job because it makes them feel “trained” for it.
• What did the engineer say when the train broke down? “Rail-y, it’s not my fault!”
• Why don’t engineers get lost on trains? They’ve always got a GPS – Great Precision System!
• Engineers on trains know they can’t afford to lose track of time.
• A train engineer never gets cold feet—they stay on warm tracks!
• Why are train engineers great musicians? Because they know how to conduct.
• Engineers have a flexible schedule, but they always run on railroad time.
• An engineer without coffee is just a “derail” in progress.
• When engineers need to find a solution, they “switch” gears and go full speed ahead.
• What do engineers say before they leave a party? “Rail-y hate to go, but I’ve got a train to catch!”
• Never argue with a train engineer, they can always lay down the tracks!
• Engineering a train isn’t just a job; it’s a viable “rail-ity.”
• What’s an engineer’s favorite part of a train ride? The journey, not just the terminal!
• Engineers love parties—especially the kind where everyone “tracks” the dance floor!
• How do engineers relax after work? They find a locomotive spa.
• Why did the engineer bring a backpack to the train? To carry around some extra “tracks” of knowledge.
• You don’t want your puns to engineer too far off the rails!
• Engineers believe there’s no such thing as a “finish line” on a train journey.
• Train engineers can’t help but “track down” good opportunities.
• Why do train engineers make great storytellers? They always have a “track” record.
• Engineers have an incredible “track-t” for multitasking on a train.
• Why did the train’s watch stop working? Because it lost track of time without an engineer!
• An engineer’s toolbox is a “rail” treasure chest.
• Why did the engineer stand by the tracks? They wanted to “stay on track”.
• If things go wrong, an engineer might say, “Let’s stay calm and train on.”
• Engineers say track maintenance is “wheely” important.
• Engineers have one rule: never derail your goals!

Conductor’s Comedy: Train Puns for Every Occasion

• I choo-choo-choose to make you laugh!
• I’m loco for locomotives!
• The train conductor is always on track!
• When trains tell jokes, they really hit the rails!
• That wasn’t just a pun, it was train-brand new!
• No need to derail your mood with bad puns!
• Can you keep up with these train puns? They’re on a roll!
• Steamed up about a good train pun?
• These jokes are just the ticket for some laughs!
• Life’s a journey, so enjoy the train ride!
• Train puns really conduct themselves well!
• Full steam ahead with laughter!
• Don’t worry, these jokes won’t go off the rail!
• That pun was a real car-raige pleaser!
• Ticket or not, these puns are a ride to remember!
• Stay locomotive with this humor!
• No train of thought needed, just some laughs!
• Finding these puns amusing is right on track!
• Rail-ly glad you liked that one!
• Feeling loco about puns? Join the club!
• Train humor is tracktical and light-hearted!
• Train jokes have a certain steam of consciousness!
• The train went by, but the pun still lingers!
• Nice caboose you brought there!
• Don’t get sidetracked by anything else!
• This joke’s leaving the station and it’s a trainsetter!
• Fill your tank and track the joy!
• These puns are wheely great!
• Trains may stop, but our puns keep rolling!
• You can always count on train jokes for locomotion!
• Today’s schedule: Arrive, Laugh, Repeat!
• On the right track for more chuckles!
• Train humor is a real engine-uity!
• Riding off into the punset!
• If this pun isn’t enough, there’s always the next one!
• Chug-a-lug with some hearty laughs!
• Hopping on board the joke locomotive!
• When trains and humor collide, the laughs are endless!
• Pun station ahead: stop and enjoy the ride!
• Carriages may connect, but puns bind us together!
• Keep your spirits on track with silly puns!
• Train puns conduct themselves with style!
• A day filled with puns is a day well locomotive!
• Getting sidetracked by laughter, one pun at a time!
• Hop on the train to giggle town!

So grab your ticket and hop on this pun-powered journey, where every stop is filled with giggles and train-tastic fun. Keep your sense of humor on track and enjoy the ride!