145+ Puns Sans: Humor to Tickle Your Funny Bone

Puns Sans adds a little “font” of humor to your day. With wordplay that’s nothing short of “pun-derful,” it has everyone in “type” stitches.

Table of Contents

It’s “serif-ously” entertaining, perfect for those who love a good giggle. “Comic” relief is guaranteed, making language play more “pun-tastic.”

Playful Puns Sans Style

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.
Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything.
She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Being vegetarian is a big missed steak.
Some kids bring joy wherever they go; others whenever they go.
The archaeologist’s career was in ruins.
The guy who invented knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Velcro is a rip-off.
The butter met the bread and said, “I’m on a roll!
I’ve been to the dentist many times, so I know the drill.
Learning Braille is really touching.
The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
Broken pencils are pointless, unless you’re a teacher.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.
The math teacher’s favorite sum is summer.
Becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak, but it’s rare now.
The geologist’s career hit rock bottom, but he’s digging it.
The symphony orchestra hit a high note last night.
The bank teller’s day was filled with interest.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
The thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
The grapes weren’t very good at telling stories; they always ended up in jams.
The library is the tallest building — it has the most stories.
Time is relative; lunchtime doubly so.
The optician made quite a spectacle with his jokes.
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh wait, I’m still working on that one.
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel; the optimist sees the light at the end.

Clever Twists with Puns Sans

Lettuce turnip the beet and make some music.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
The energizer bunny went to jail: he was charged with battery.
The new calendar’s days are numbered.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Electricians have to be grounded to avoid shocking experiences.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a-dress.
Our math teacher has too many problems to solve.
Photographers have flash in their plans.
Geometry road signs make you stop and reflect.
The bicycle couldn’t stand on its own; it was two tired.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you might get repossessed.
The banker quit his job after he lost interest.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
She got fired from the orange juice factory because she couldn’t concentrate.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
A backwards poet writes inverse.
He drove his expensive car into a tree, and found out how the Mercedes bends.
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
If towels could tell secrets, they would have a lot of folds.
A dentist and a manicurist got married. They fought tooth and nail.
The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.
Want to hear something uplifting? Elevators always have ups and downs.
Losing weight requires time and patience; you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
He had a photographic memory but never developed it.
Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.
Broken pencils are pointless.
The drama teacher got fired. She couldn’t make a scene.
Some people prefer to sleep on elevators, as they are good at lifting spirits.
He was a natural-born musician. He always has sharp notes.
The scarecrow won an award for being outstanding in his field.
Pencils are the opposite of pens. They’re the write way to go.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The weatherman who stole my sun is now on the run.
The locksmith finds his work very key-satisfying.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
A closet is just a room with too much hang-up.
If a dog lost his tail, where would he go? To the re-tail store.
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
The music store moved because they needed more space to drum up business.

Humor in Puns Sans Form

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, and it’s impossible to put down.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Broken pencils are pointless but still have a sharp end.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Whiteboards are remarkable for their ability to help us brainstorm.
I had a pun about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat.
I’m inclined to be laid back, but it’s a slope I can’t resist.
Some architecture jokes try to be monumental but remain under construction.
The calendar’s days are numbered for a reason.
When the math teacher’s dog goes missing, he looks for the square root.
Becoming a baker is easy, it’s the dough that can rise to the occasion.
If you talk to big ears, you might get an earful.
When she saw her first strand of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
Electricians keep the current flowing, but they’re shocked at their bills.
The clockmaker’s business is ticking, second by second.
Just found out I’m colorblind; it came out of the green.
A scarecrow’s favorite part of the job is standing out in his field.
With great mustard comes great responsibility, said the chef.
Camping is intense, always pitched under the starlit sky.
Grocery stores running out of beef is a rare occurrence.
A joke about construction should never be finished.
Every calendar day is a milestone to remember.
When a tailor makes a mistake, he seams to have a fitting solution.
He didn’t want to be a baker, but he kneaded the dough.
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
They told me I couldn’t be good at origami, but I folded.
The guy who lost his left side is all right now.
An astronaut’s favorite part of a computer is the space bar.
I’m reading a horror story online, but my browser’s history is more frightening.
Going to the dentist feels like pulling teeth, doesn’t it?
When you crush grapes for wine, the result is intoxicating.
If your car breaks down, it’s time to get an auto-correct.
The mathematician’s plant died. Now he has to replace it with a square root.
By the time I finished the library book, I was overdue for a new one.

One-Liner Puns Sans for a Quick Laugh

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I wanted to be a professional mirror cleaner, but it was something I just couldn’t see myself doing.
The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
I was going to make myself a belt out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Broken pencils are pointless.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
The guy who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
Did you get bored during geometry class? It was just going off on a tangent.
I made a pun about the wind, but it blew over everyone’s head.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it’s really hard to find good players.
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is a seasoned veteran now.
Math teachers have too many problems.
Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
The inventor of throat lozenges died last week; there were no coughin’ at his funeral.
The blind carpenter picked up his hammer and saw.
The fish missed the call because he was too slow in catching it.
The experienced sailor knows it’s knot worth the risk.
When the mustard factory closed, it left a lot to be Dijon.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The orchestra played on, even though the conductor lost his train of thought.
I couldn’t recall how to throw a boomerang, but it came back to me.
My job at the orange juice factory was squeezing, but I got canned.
The kleptomaniac couldn’t understand why his life always felt robbed of meaning.
When the baker spotted a loaf, he found his bread and butter.
The magician who lost his rabbit was in dire need of a hare replacement.
Becoming a doctor takes a lot of patients.
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
The marathon runner had a great finish, but it was a race against time.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
The music teacher went to jail because she got caught with too many notes.
My dentist said I need a crown, so I said, “Finally, someone who understands me!”

Classic Puns Sans Fun

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
I would avoid the sushi if I were you, it’s a little fishy.
Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
Broken pencils are pointless.
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh sorry, I’m still working on it.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
I’m reading a book on electricity, it’s shockingly good.
They told me I had a type-A blood, but it was a type-O.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
I’m trying to organize a hide and seek contest, but it’s really hard to find good players.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Whiteboards are remarkable.
It’s not that the man did the math, but the math did the man in.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forest1.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
The last sportscar had to quit the race because it was running on fumes.
When the past, present, and future went camping, it was intense.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
The mathematician’s plants died because he forgot to water them with square roots.
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
Even if you haven’t finished, you’ve already won by staying in the race.

Creative Wordplay with Puns Sans

Running with scissors was a sheer delight.
It’s past time to reminiscence about the good old days.
Without history, our future would be a mystery.
A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
The math class was tired because it had too many problems.
My new computer is quite the byte!
The bakery caught fire; I guess the bread was toast.
When the movie ended, we were all in tiered seats.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Wine makes every dinner a real toast of the town.
Gardening tools are very down to earth.
When my pencil broke, I couldn’t see the point.
Being a professional chef, I always cook up good ideas.
Even olives have pitted feelings sometimes.
The footwear store had a huge sale; it was a sole decision.
Mountains aren’t just funny; they are hill areas.
Copy machines have a paper jam relationship with each other.
A dentist’s favorite time is tooth-hurty.
The library is the only place where silence speaks volumes.
The artist loves paint puns; she’s such a colorful character.
A broken pencil is pointless, but it still writes a story.
Perfecting dessert recipes is a piece of cake.
My thesaurus is a dinosaur—it’s got a great selection of synonyms.
Electricians are great at current events.
Learning sign language is quite a gesture.
A seaweed loves to ride the wave of puns.
Smiles keep everyone in high spirits.
The insects were buzzing with excitement to see Steve hive.
The cross-eyed teacher got her math problems consistently wrong.
When a scientist died, they were said to be chemistry faded away.
Some people find fishing quite the reel deal.
A clock’s favorite genre of books is time-travel novels.
Our candles lit up the room with a bright idea.
Spaghetti left alone becomes a noodle without a cause.
The banker loves to laugh about cents of humor.
The music store offers rock-bottom prices on records.
Criminals who take selfies are cellfies.
The strawberry found itself in a jam.
Left my job at the orange juice factory because I couldn’t concentrate.

Short and Sweet Puns Sans

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
I once worked at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
The cat gave its owner good purr-spectives.
The furniture store keeps calling me, but all I wanted was a sofa.
The library is a great place; they check you out while you check out books.
To some people, marriage is a word; to others, it’s a sentence.
Always trust a glue salesman; they tend to stick to their word.
Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.
I’ve started a business breeding chickens. I’m hoping it’s egg-citing.
An elevator is always up to something.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me; it means a lot.
Teaching dogs to fetch is a real treat.
I have a photographic memory, but I never developed it.
Becoming a vegetarian was a big missed steak.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
Bees hate working out because they refuse to buzzkill.
Classical music lovers get Bach to basics.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take everything literally.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers but couldn’t find any.
Energizer bunny arrested: charged with battery.
When you’re an electrician, you have plenty of potential.
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.
Two silk worms had a race and ended up in a tie.
Jellyfish have schools, but they don’t take students under the wave.
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing!
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Geometry teachers have the most acute understanding of angles.
He had a photographic memory but it never developed.
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
The bicycle couldn’t stand up by itself; it was two-tired.

Stay “sharp” and “font”astic with these punny delights! May your days be filled with laughter and witty wordplay!

Samar

Punsuniverse — a realm crafted by me, Samar! You will find everything here that is related to puns, weather its food, animals, names or something elsse.