184+ Lamest Puns That'll Make You Groan and Grin

Puns are un-bee-lievably cheesy, but they have a-corny charm. From “lettuce romaine friends” to “you’re the apple of my pie,” they’re just too gouda to resist.

Table of Contents

Life gives us lemons, and some say, “zest friends forever.” The real pun-damental of humor isn’t rocket science; it’s just eggs-traordinary.

Classic Groan-Inducing Puns

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
The magician’s rabbit had to take a hare-raising escape.
Broken pencils are pointless.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
The clock was hungry; it went back four seconds.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down.

baseball was getting bigger; then it hit me.

When the fog lifted in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

I’m friends with all electricians; we have a shocking connection.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

Those who steal corn should be considered corn-nappers.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.

When chemists die, they barium.

Velcro is a rip-off.

My sister wears glasses, but she prefers contacts.

They gave the dentist an award; it was a little in plaque.

Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they take everything literally.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

What did I say about puns? It’s going to be groan-worthy.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

Whenever the topic of pizza comes up, it’s bound to be cheesy.

I have a fear of hurdles, but I will get over it.

The guy who got hit with a soda can was lucky it was a soft drink.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

Police were called to a day-care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

When the teacher asked why the math book looked sad, it replied, “I have too many problems.

The balloon can’t fly; it was just full of hot air.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you could get repossessed.

We were going to find out who stole the soap, but it left a slippery trail.

The new calendar factory got the dates all mixed up. Their days were numbered.

If a spoon could speak, it would always have a stirring story.

It’s hard to beat scrambled eggs in the morning.

The librarian got in trouble because his story was too novel.

Can February March? No, but April May.

Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.

Animal Puns That Are “Udderly” Ridiculous

I’m not lion when I say you’re purr-fect.
That story was unbearable!
Ewe are simply the best.
Whale, what do we have here?
I’m owl by myself, but that’s okay.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonaid.
Deer me, I forgot again!
Paws and enjoy the moment.
Seal the deal with a smile.
You have a lot of potential, kiddo.
Hippo birthday to you!
You’re turtle-y awesome.
We’ll have a whale of a time.
Elephants never forget, and neither do I.
It’s time to get egg-cited!
You’re totally pawsome!
Feline good about today.
Giraffe your spirits!
This is un-bear-ably cute.
Owl always love you.
Let’s not make it awkward, chick.
Mooving on to the next thing.
You’re barking up the right tree.
Have a whale-y good day!
Bee happy and buzz on.
Alpaca my bags, ready for an adventure!
Don’t be koi, just tell me.
Cow-ngratulations on your success!
I’m raven about this new discovery.
Otterly in love with this moment.
You’re the bear-y best, hands down.
I find you quite amoosing.
This is the purr-fect solution.
I can’t bear to be without you.
You’re so dino-mite!
What an eggs-trardinary idea!
Let’s wing it and see what happens.
Bear with me for a second.
There’s nothing better than a cat-nap.
You’re seal-iously amazing!
Squawk to the hand because I’m listening.
All of a sudden, it just clicked – like a snapping turtle.
Kangaroo are you going again?

Food Puns to Make You Cringe

Lettuce celebrate this feast.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
You make miso happy.
I’m so eggcited to see you!
Olive you from my head tomatoes.
Don’t go bacon my heart.
Cheeseburgers are very gouda for your soul.
You’re the apple of my pie.
I doughnut care if you don’t like pastries.
Your presence is the icing on the cake.
You’re one in a melon!
Getting to the root of the problem takes thyme.
It’s time to taco ’bout our feelings.
There’s no whey you’re not awesome.
You’re brewtiful, just like a perfect cup of coffee.
Don’t play ketchup unless you relish the challenge.
It’s un-bri-lievable how much cheese I can eat.
Spare me a pizza of your heart.
I’m never going to dessert you.
We’re mint to be friends.
You’re pasta-tively amazing.
Wine not have a glass or two tonight?
I love you berry much.
I think you’re soup-er!
My love for you is nacho average love.
Cutting carbs is too bread of an idea.
For goodness steak, stop beefing with me!
I’ve bean thinking about you all day.
I yam what I yam.
There’s no need to be melon-choly.
Chickpeas and love are all you need.
You’re soup-erior in every way.
I falafel about not sharing my hummus.
This is nacho problem; it’s mine.
I’m grapeful for good friends like you.
Let’s avocado party tonight!
You’re shrimply the best.
It’s the yeast I can do to help.
You have a pizza my heart.
You’re my butter half.
Thanks for pudding up with me.
You’re my jam!
Salad days are here again!
Egg-specially when breakfast is homemade.
We sure do make a gouda team.
I’m nuts about you!
Eating vegetables is no small potatoes.
That’s the way the cookie crumbles.
Have a rice day!

One-Liner Lamest Puns

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down.
The wedding was emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
I’m on a whiskey diet; I’ve lost three days already.
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.
I’m great at multitasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing!
These days, a bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s too tired.
Eating clocks is time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
I’ve got a photographic memory but could use some development.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
My math teacher called me average; how mean!
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Somebody stole my Microsoft Office and they are going to pay; you have my Word.
Always try to be better than yesterday.
When I tried to catch some fog, I mist.
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; then it hit me.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity; it’s impossible to put down.
When you’re down by the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.
They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian—they’re not laughing now.
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine, but cats can.
I didn’t want a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Don’t trust people who do acupuncture; they’re back stabbers.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
When chemists die, they barium.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
I’m glad I know sign language; it’s pretty handy.
I’m only friends with electricians because their jokes are always current.

Wordplay Puns Not Worth a Chuckle

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, and it’s impossible to put down
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
When the electricity went out, I was de-lighted
The guy who created knock-knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
I’ve been to the dentist many times, so I know the drill
To write with a broken pencil is pointless
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak
The battery got married, but it looks like there won’t be a long charge
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered
I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed
He had a photographic memory but never developed it
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble
The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off
I’m friends with all electricians; we have current connections
I gave away all my batteries, free of charge
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired
They won’t let me run the lemonade stand, as I lack the zest
I dropped my phone in the ocean and called it a wireless
When I told my friend 10 puns to make her laugh, no pun in ten did
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat
The guy who lost his left arm and leg is alright now
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the ‘no-bell’ prize
Can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory; all I did was take a day off
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing
I’m terrible at math, but I hear numbers talk
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak
I’ve got a friend who’s fallen for a trapeze artist; she’s up in the air about him
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion

Tech Puns That Fall Flat

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
The programmer got stuck in the shower because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat.”
Wi-Fi and I have a connection that’s simply wireless.
I named my dog ‘JavaScript’ because he reacts to commands instantly.
Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.
The internet connection was always erratic, it was a Wi-Fi-ghting experience.
If you have a cracked computer screen, it’s not broken, it’s an LCD puzzle.
I don’t trust people who use graph paper, they’re always plotting something.
An astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard is the space bar.
The computer threw a fit because it needed some bytes for lunch.
Arguing with a computer is pointless, you’ll always end up on the same wavelength.
My computer hates me because every time it sees me, it says, “You’ve got issues.”
Upgrading the satellite was a great idea, it was out of this world.
Did you hear about the computer that couldn’t stop sneezing? It had a byte of a cold.
Robots’ favorite music is heavy metal.
Why did the smartphone break up with the charger? It was too draining.
The microchip felt a bit lost, it just needed to find its socket.
Every calendar is a seesaw because it has so many dates.
Smartphones are great multitaskers, they can play a game and overheat at the same time.
My phone and I have such a great connection; we’re inseparable.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
The computer couldn’t dance at the party because it only knows how to do the floppy drive.
The laptop couldn’t keep a secret because it had too many ports.
When the computer gets hungry, it just bites a few pixels.
When the power strip met the extension cord, it was a real plug and play date.
Downloading a cold is easy, it’s all data streaming through the nose.
The robot made a great comedian because it always delivered bits of humor.
Computers are great at singing because they always keep perfect pitch.
The light bulb and the computer had a bright conversation about innovation.
The Coder’s favorite element is the entire periodic table, they love variables!
When I asked the computer about its favorite band, it said, “The Chips.
I told my computer I needed a break, so it said, “I’ll cache you later.”
The smartphone’s favorite side dish is always a byte.
The keyboard had to hold a meeting to address its pressing issues.
The cloud and the server had a heated discussion about climate change.
The tech support team’s ideal vacation spot? The Boot sector beaches.
The robots organized a marathon and called it “The Circuit Sprint.”
The drone found its calling in skywriting; it’s always been a high flier.
A smartphone’s favorite movie genre is science friction.
The camera loved taking selfies; it had a great lens for perspective.
The Wi-Fi router invited everyone to its housewarming party, full bars for all!
Spending time with a computer is always refreshing, especially when it reboots your system.
The robot chef served up a byte-sized menu at the digital diner.

Nature Puns That Leaf Much to Desire

Why couldn’t the flower ride a bike? It lost its petals.
The tree made a decision, and it was root for you.
I told the mushroom to stop growing on me, but it couldn’t resist.
The rock decided it was time to face its boulder problems.
That leaf was feeling pretty down, but it decided to turn over a new leaf.
Waterfalls always go with the flow.
Fern leaves always seem to be frond of each other.
The forest was so excited, it was absolutely tree-mendous.
Why is the forest so good at giving gifts? It’s great at tree-cycling.
The mountain couldn’t help but be peak ecstatic.
The ocean decided it was time to seas the day.
The cactus was always on point with its sense of humor.
The river had too many banks to count.
Because of its bark, the dogwood couldn’t sneak up on anyone.
Lettuce always be grateful for the little things in nature.
The shrub got a haircut that was bushy, not fussy.
Even though the plant was off-color, it still had a golden hue.
The birds always tweet good stories.
The cloud decided to rain on everyone’s parade.
The branch was having a limb-bastic time swaying in the breeze.
Moss always makes sure to cover its tracks.
The sun was feeling radiant today.
The butterfly found it’s always better to wing it.
Time to spruce up the garden with some new plants.
The pebble loved to rock and roll.
The sunflower decided to follow the sunny side of life.
The snail always puts its house on its back for a reason.
The mountain couldn’t contain its peak excitement.
The vine was pretty good at hanging around.
The glacier was known for its cool attitude.
The meadow was having a grass time with things.
The raven never misses a caw-ll.
The cedar was constantly pining for change.
The forest had a very treemendous spirit.
The mud had a very soil-id game.
The rainforest was always a hit since it had a lot to jungle.
The sunflower had a great sunny disposition.
The beach was always shore about things.
The mountain goat lived in high spirits.
The desert was not a fan of the dew point.
The fish was hooked on nature.

If you’ve made it this far without groaning, you’ve definitely earned a “pun-derful” medal. Just remember, when life gets too serious, a cheesy pun is sure to “brie-ten” your day!

Samar

Punsuniverse — a realm crafted by me, Samar! You will find everything here that is related to puns, weather its food, animals, names or something elsse.